When I first met Hekate, it was in preparation for a ritual. I asked for her inspiration with her invocation for the ritual, she swept in fast and strong to greet me, and I have not looked back since. Hekate and I met at a time in my life where I needed spiritual companionship and guidance on my path, but I was not always very good at taking her advice or walking the roads she recommended. I resisted. I put up a fuss. I tried to turn frowns upside down and fix things that were not mine to fix. Hekate did not interfere or try to dominate me on these matters. She let the dice fall where they needed to in order for me to draw some conclusions and chart some next steps on my own.
Some people talk about Hekate or other deities seizing them and taking control of their lives. Hekate did not take that approach with me. I tend to pull away from domination. I would have been blind to her guidance if she had tried that. I think she knew that I would not respond to being controlled because I have felt controlled and denied at various key points throughout my life. Reflecting on the issue, I think that she recognized that I have been enthralled in the very difficult and painful work of figuring out who I am, finding my own will, and expressing it openly (respectfully, but without apology). Hekate coming in, taking my life, and minimizing my will would have stunted my growth and I would have resented her! No. I had to make my own way, make my own decisions, and live the joys and sorrows of those choices – knowing that they were mine, not hers!
Now that I am coming more into my own right, I am choosing to get closer to her, to mingle our wills together so that Good Work can be done. As with any good partnership, we chose each other and we are better for it. From my perspective, in a scenario where the will of another person or Being is overpowering my own will, trying to swallow it whole, I start to resent that Being and the relationship. Anything they tell me to do, any life they demand that I live I begin to regret and wonder what life would have been like “on the other side” of whatever it is they actually have me living. Suddenly what was given up seems like it might be sweeter than what I have. In my opinion, in union with a deity, in partnership with Them (rather than in a domineering relationship), that kind of “grass must be greener on the other side” or “I wonder what I’m missing” mentality does not happen. I feel that in that scenario, we don’t miss what we don’t have because we never really Wanted it. Essentially, we don’t regret a lifestyle that we did not pursue because it was never our path to walk. When we are in union, in balanced partnership, we don’t shake an angry fist at the sky for the ways we could not be because those were never our ways. In union, personal will and the god’s will are one and we are on a Mission that we have chosen together; essentially, we have Work to do.
This is how I feel about Hekate. As I grow closer to her and approach the possibility of taking oaths to her, I do not find myself wondering what my life will be like if I do not take that path. The oaths will shape my path. No fuss. No muss. No regrets. That’s the gift of personally choosing a deity and being chosen by that deity. No ruffled feathers. No weak will. No lacking resolve. No need to be commanded into anything because we are both on the same page. I feel that Hekate and I have been on the same page for a while, which is a good environment within which to take my oaths to her. I chose her, she chose me, and we have Work to do.