Reaching Deep Roots: Reflections on My Ancestor Altar

On March 30th, I posted an image of my Ancestor altar in its infancy. My altar at that time reflected my young relationship with my Ancestors. Fortunately, my ancestral connections and thus my altar have grown quite a bit since March. 

Not only is my altar space occupied by images of my Beloved Dead but it also contains waters (pure water, Florida Water, and an Ancestral Scrying Water), offerings (candy, copal resin, candles, and alcohol), and symbols (cowry shells, rattles, skull images, pennies, beads, charms, dried flowers, veves, etc.) that speak not only to the Ancestral Dead but also to the two Orishas with whom I work, the two Lwa with whom I am building a connection, and a few Saints who have offered me some quite unexpected assistance in the last several months or more. My awareness of my roots has deepened and my altar has become more integral to my spiritual practice. I conduct my rites of offering at the altar as well as divination rites and other informal rituals of reverence and connection. Thus far my Ancestor altar has been a wonderful gateway to the realm of the Ancestral Dead and to making connections with the Orishas, Lwa, and Saints. When I started the altar, I really did not expect my roots to reach so deep. I did not expect to begin profound relationships with the Spirits (i.e., Orisha, Lwa, and Saints) that many of my ancestors honored.

At the moment, I still consider myself to be deeply engaged in the early building phase of my relationships with these very different but connected entities so I try not to light candles and make offerings for the purpose of making requests and having them satisfied. Instead I make offerings in recognition, to give honor/reverance, and out of appreciation. Does this mean that I will never ask for anything? Well, no, I believe in reciprocity – a gift for a gift, but I also believe in having a strong and respectful connection, a meaningful relationship. That is the foundation on which exchange and reciprocity are laid. Out of respectful reverence, I try to acknowledge and show appreciation for the myriad gifts that have already been given. I feel I am still in that phase. I am sure the time will come when I feel called to ask for something but right now, I am enjoying the process of appreciative gift giving. Overall, I am super energized around these budding relationships and I look forward to strengthening connections, and reaching more of my roots.

Mutual Choice in Human-Deity Relationships

Lately, I have been consuming a lot of written material on individual’s relationships with Pagan deities. In that process, I have found people who list off the gods who demand their servitude. Some individuals speak about their Work with a deity or various deities as if they do not have a choice in the matter, as if they were chosen by the god, without having been consulted. From what I gather in my reading, many of the individuals have genuine and beautiful relationships with various divinities and they do important Work that honors their gods. This fact seems a little counterintuitive to me given the emphasis that some people place on having been commanded into a deity’s employ.

I have an issue with the idea that the person was chosen by the god and therefore did not have an equal choice in the process themselves. From my perspective, if it is a positive, constructive, reciprocal relationship then it is likely in accord with the person’s True Will which means yes, that person did in fact choose to follow that deity wherever they might lead…that the person in effect chose the deity right back. That choice may not have been immediately conscious, but it was indeed a choice from my perspective. The relationship was mutually constructed.

But, then again, the notion of being hand-selected by a god is more appealing than having it be a mutually developed transaction in which the human has a choice, a will to exercise. There’s a mystique around being chosen, but no such mystique accompanies sitting at the negotiating table with a god and sorting out the details of a mutual service contract.

I know that for me, if my True Will were being compromised by a god, I would be upset and I would resist! I do not mean that I would whisper “Oh no, I couldn’t possibly” while following glittery eyed toward the next task. No, I mean fighting for my freedom from oppression. Honestly, I value my choice, even my choice to make (colossal) mistakes and to miss (life-changing) opportunities. I value being able to choose a god and to have that god choose me in return, and vice versa. That is the gift of being in a healthy, functional relationship with another being. That is the gift of a will that is truly free. When I choose a god and a god chooses me, we exist in exalted union, no one overshadowed by the other but both together. I should say, from my perspective the order of choice here is really unimportant because when choice is understood as a right and as mutually exercised, the question of order (who chose who first and with what degree of fanfare) is fruitless because one partner’s choice would be meaningless without the other’s.

My relationship with Hekate fits this bill. We each of us chose the other. We negotiated slowly and in unspoken ways regarding the terms of our relationship, built over time. When she made herself known to me, I chose not to ignore her. I followed up, extended myself, asked questions, and drew nearer to her. That was my choice. I am sure she could have found another tree to bark up if I was not willing! And there’s the rub; when choice is mutual, the union is not accompanied by some shiny mystique; it just is. It is a relationship, one that both human and deity must be open to and work together to create, recreate, and maintain. In that case, human and deity are in mutual service to one another and there is give and take in that relationship; there is reciprocity. From that perspective, suddenly everyone is chosen and choosing. In that case, choice and free will as well as the idea of being chosen, belong to all beings involved, not just the gods and definitely not just a few.

Of course, the flipside of this issue is that I have never encountered a deity that felt the need to dominate me. The gods are indeed powerful; I am definitely not trying to deny that, but they need not bother with overcoming my will if it is not what I truly want. Depending on what the gods want done, I’m no snowflake so the one’s that want to get a certain thing done probably have some idea of which mortals are willing to do it. But again, that brings me right back to choice. On some level, the gods choose us AND we choose them.

I think the reason that I have this perspective at this time is because I do not view each of the gods as omnipotent or omnipresent. To my understanding, they are “simply” beings with a lot more bang than the vast majority of other beings have and like most folk in the Worlds I feel they understand that it is easier to work with the willing than to dominate those who are unwilling. Given that all of my deity relationships are pretty reciprocal and negotiated, I welcome other perspectives from folks who are pretty sure that they have no choice in the matter, especially those who were snatched by a deity, are not even sure they like the deity or what the deity has them doing, but are compelled because of the deity’s clearly superior power. Although my perspective has formed from my own experience, I acknowledge the plethora of other experiences out there! Honestly, I am sure that all of these issues are very complex and so complicated that there is no “real deal”, no one way of seeing the issue. I could imagine this, like other aspects of a relationship, being on a bit of a case by case, relationship by relationship basis.